Funny Good Morning Quotes

Start your day with a smile with these humorous quotes!

Funny Good Morning Quotes

“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
– Steven Wright
"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
– Unknown
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
— Jim Davis
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
— Terry Pratchett
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”
— Unknown
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
— James Marsden
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
— Tony Smite
“Why can’t the morning news ever say ‘Today has been canceled, now go back to sleep.”
– Unknown
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
— William Feather
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
"I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day."
– Unknown
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
“Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”
– Unknown
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
“She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.”
– Richelle Mead
"The easiest time to fall asleep is just after turning off the alarm clock."
– Unknown
“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”
– Unknown
"There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'!"
– Fulton J. Sheen.
"My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door."
— Willie Geist
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
– Unknown