“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~ Drew Carey
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown