"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
