“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
"I am not an early bird or night owl; I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
"Resting is a part of the process, even if it’s not a part of the plan."
— Carley Schweet
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
“The road to success is always under construction.”
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough."
― Phyllis Diller
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
"It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack."
― Germany Kent
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg