"Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard
“I’m glad it’s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.”
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” - Kathy Mohnke
“I have just returned from a children’s party. I’m one of the survivors.”
- Percy French.
“Sagittarians are aliens disguised as humans.”
— Ramana Pemmaraju
“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
"Don’t worry about what other people think. They don’t do it very often."
Anonymous
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
- George Benard Shaw
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
