“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” —George Bernard Shaw
"Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time."
– Sadhguru
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." – Bill Vaughan
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
“You can always tell about somebody by the way they put their hands on an animal.”
- Betty White.
“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”—Erma Bombeck
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
- Professor Irwin Corey
"It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." Lucille Ball
Oscar Wilde
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas."
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper
“I’m a Capricorn and I’m mad loyal — mad loyal! — and I will always look for the good in people.”
— Jeannie Mai
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Parents of newborn babies are basically hostages in their own house with a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome.” – Nate Smith
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
“A lot of Thanksgiving Days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.” —Kin Hubbard
“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.”
– Sam Keen
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”
Sam Ewing
"If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people."
- Victor Cousin
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.” —Stephen Colbert
"Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run."
Unknown
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
“Happy Thanksgiving!!! Or as I like to call it: Cheat Day.” — Hugh Jackman
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.”
— Marlo Thomas
“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.”
— Charles Lamb
“When a stupid man is doing something, he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“The only yoga stretch I've perfected is the yawn.”
- Grant Tucker.
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Almost every Aquarius is a rebel. Give them a guide and they won’t follow it. Tell them there’s a dress code and they’ll show up wearing nothing at all.”
— Alex Dimitrov and Dorothea Lasky
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again.”
Stan Laurel
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing