"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette