"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!” –Sweet Dick Willie (Robin Harris)Do the Right Thing
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal