"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous