“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” — Bill Vaughn
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“I am having an out of money experience." ~Author Unknown
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.”- Franklin Jones.
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
