“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Monday should be optional.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“The only certainty in this life is that Monday comes for everyone. A little humor to face at the beginning of the week always goes well. How about starting Monday smiling?”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“Sunday morning my head is bad. But it's worth all the time I had. But I've got to go and get some rest. For Monday is a mess!”
– Dave Bartholomew, Blue Monday
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“The worst moment today has happened. That was when the alarm went off and I realized it was Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
