“Is it Monday already? I’m almost positive I did not get my entire portion of the weekend.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.”
— Julio Alexi Genao
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
“Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
“It’s just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. ‘Cause, that’s my fun day. My, I don’t have to run day.”
— Prince Rogers Nelson
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“Good morning. Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.”
— Andrea L’Artiste
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”