"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke