"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Toml
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.