"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”
- Earl Wilson.
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen