“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.”—John Peer
“A hen is just an egg’s way of making another egg.”
- Weird Science.
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“Three rebels against the light: the thief, the adulterer, and the bat.”
- Hebrew Proverb.
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."
- Ogden Nash
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson