“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“We’ve all done this because we’re so mature. You see a cow on the side of the road, stick your head out the window and go, “Mooooo!” Like we expect the cow to think, “Hey, there’s another cow, driving that car! How can he afford that?”
- Garry Shandling.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother—and they will settle for a puppy every time.”—Winston Pendelton
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”
- Colette.
“Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”—John Grogan
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there’s plenty of blame to go around.”
- John Lyon.
“What does a snail say when he rides on the back of a turtle?
“Whee!”
- Will Durst
"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."
- Ogden Nash
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”
- Buddy Hackett.
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“If you’re a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?”
- Guy Endore-Kaiser.
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”
- John Steinbeck.
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
- John Steinbeck.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”
- James Rollins.
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.”
- Sigmund Freud
“Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks.”—Roger Caras
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.
- Jerry Seinfeld"
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“I take my pet lion to church every Sunday. He has to eat.”
- Marty Pollio.
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”—Kristan Higgins
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“My relationships with my cats have saved me from a deadly, pervasive ignorance.”
- William S. Burroughs.
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.”
- Moby.
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
- Mary Bly.
“The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs.”
- Valeriu Butulescu.
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.”
- Charlotte Gray.
