Funny Animal Quotes

Animal lovers will love these hilarious animal quotes.

Funny Animal Quotes

“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”

- Doris Day.
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

- Terry Pratchett.
“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw
“My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” ~ Unknown
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”

- James Rollins.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”

― Tamora Pierc
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”

- Jerry Seinfeld.
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”

- Sue Murphy.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”

- Adam Smith.
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”

- Phil Pastoret.
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
"Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."

- John Steinbeck.
“In order to maintain a well­-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”

― A.A. Milne.
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”

- Ann Landers.
“A hen is just an egg’s way of making another egg.”

- Weird Science.