"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn