"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." - Truman Capote
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" - Chili Davis
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous