"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown