“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown