“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown