"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown