Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
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