Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
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