Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.