Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
An blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
A blond was taking helicopter lessons.
The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great.
At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground.
The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?"
The blond said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
Why did the blonde take a camera to bed? To record what she was going to dream that night.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"