Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
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