What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
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