Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
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