Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
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