- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Britney Spears.
- Britney Spears who?
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Oops! I did it again!
A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson, we learned about the E string."
The 2nd week came, and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, "On my 2nd lesson, I learned about the A string."
When the 3rd week came by, the father said to his son, "You know these are expensive lessons. What have you learned this week?"
The son said, "I quit the lessons. I already got a gig."
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get when you squish an army?
A flat major.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
What makes music on your head?
A headband.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote too many Linkin Park songs.
But "in the end, it doesn't even matter".
What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
What do you get when you play country music backward?
You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.
What do you call a musician with problems?
A trebled man.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
Why was the musician arrested?
She got in treble.
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind — it’s too short.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
She broke the record.
A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
They just fiddle around.
What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock!
What has a neck but no head?
A bass.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
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