Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a tuba glue.
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
What makes pirates such good singers?
They can hit the high Cs.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
She broke the record.
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Britney Spears.
- Britney Spears who?
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Oops! I did it again!
How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep?
Pay them for the pizza.
What do you call a musical insect?
A humbug.
What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
Kazoontite.
What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
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