Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not!
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
What is a robot’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal.
What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
How many Folk Singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?
To get away from the noise.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Twelve - one to do it, and eleven to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"
- Knock, knock!
- Who's there?
- Turnip.
- Turnip who?
- Turnip the volume, this is my all-time favorite song!
What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
What is another term for trombone?
A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.
What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.
What did the robbers take from the music store?
The lute.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
“Three Blind Mice.”
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
What makes music on your head?
A headband.
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