What do you call a set of musical dentures?
Falsetto teeth.
Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.
But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
Never mind — it’s too short.
What makes music on your head?
A headband.
How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
What do you get when you put a radio in the fridge?
Cool music.
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop music.
How many Folk Singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
What’s the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What do a sword and a piano have in common?
They can both B sharp.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What song do vampires hate?
“You Are My Sunshine.”
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.
What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
La Travelator.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
How does the sun listen to music?
On its ray-dio!
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Britney Spears.
- Britney Spears who?
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Oops! I did it again!
How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
He speeds up when he’s knocking.
What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?
The guit-arrr!
Why was music coming from the printer?
The paper was jamming.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
He knew his scales.
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
Because they were slurring.
What types of songs do planets sing?
Nep-tunes.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
What’s the best Christmas present in the whole world?
A broken drum—you can’t beat it!
- Knock, knock!
- Who's there?
- Turnip.
- Turnip who?
- Turnip the volume, this is my all-time favorite song!
I have a musician friend who is always upbeat. When she developed ringing in one ear, I asked whether her condition was especially annoying to a musician. She shook her head. “Not really,” she replied cheerfully. “The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello half a tone lower.”
What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
A Baroque man’s piano.
Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir.
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a tuba glue.
A father was buying bass lessons for his son.
After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, "On my 1st lesson, we learned about the E string."
The 2nd week came, and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, "On my 2nd lesson, I learned about the A string."
When the 3rd week came by, the father said to his son, "You know these are expensive lessons. What have you learned this week?"
The son said, "I quit the lessons. I already got a gig."
What do you get when you play country music backward?
You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.
Why was the musician arrested?
She got in treble.
Why do fluorescent lights hum?
Because they forgot the words.
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap.
What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.
I wrote a song about a tortilla chip.
Actually, it's more like a wrap.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor twelve miles away.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
Go to BabaMail
