“Yoga is not about tightening your ass. It’s about getting your head out of it.” — Eric Paskel
“Smiling is mouth yoga.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
"Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I'll ever get to yoga."
- Grant Tucker
“Keep calm and ommm… nonommm…” — Anonymous
“If you fall, I’ll be there. Love, Your Mat” -Unknown
"One meditator to another: Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?" – Unknown
“An instructor once gave the following cue in yoga class: “Relax your pancreas.” I don’t even know where my pancreas is, never mind how to relax it! I giggled for the rest of the class.” – Mel Farrimond
"What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!"
- Sadhana Yoga
“Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time.” — Unknown
“What Yoga really is… Spending an entire hour trying not to fart.”— Anonymous
“Medidation, because some questions can’t be answered by Google.” — Inner Balance Wear
“I’ve got 99 problems and I’m gonna go to yoga and solve about 53 of them.” -Unknown
“I like tea and yoga, but I don’t do yoga.” – Moby
“I really regret going to a Yoga class today… said no one ever.” — Unknown
“Yoga pants. Because jeans are stressful and you don’t need that in your life.” -Unknown
“Yoga is almost like music in a way; there’s no end to it.” — Sting
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by yoga.” – Unknown
“Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
“Let’s face it, I only practice yoga because the classes are always packed with beautiful women.” — Adam Levine
“Yoga instructor just emailed to say class is moved and thanks for our flexibility.” – Unknown
“I do yoga so that I can stay flexible enough to kick my own arse if necessary.” — Betsy Cañas Garmon
“Yoga is too slow.” — Rob Gronkowski
“Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions rather than jumping to them.” – Unknown
"Calming the mind is yoga. Not just standing on the head."
- Swami Satchidananda
“I think yoga should be for everyone, not just the folks who change their name to something Hindu.” — Tara Stiles
“Yoga class? I thought you said ‘pour a glass’.” – Unknown
"You can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your sofa, not doing yoga."
- Grant Tucke
“When Chuck Norris does yoga, the sun salutes him.” – Unknown
“Three things that never lie: Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.” – Unknown
“Namastay 6 feet away.” – Unknown
"It's funny when people think 'yoga people' are supposed to be calm. No. We're all here because we're nuts." — Unknown
All my friends complaint about not feeling good, and are freaking out about their lives, and I’m just like, “There’s Yoga pose for that!” — Unknown
“I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
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