"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert