“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright