Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Go to BabaMail
