Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
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