Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
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