Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris once trew a party.
It still hasn't landed.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
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