Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris undies.
Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
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