Why are black people so good at basketball?
Dedication and hard work.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
Girl holding bowl colorful variety game indoor.
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide.
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
What is green, red, yellow, purple and orange?
Colors.
What leaves a bigger hole in your heart than breaking up with your girlfriend?
A bullet.
Parenting is like playing chess.
I don't know how to play chess.
You know you’re a true 90s kid when you look at your birth certificate and it says that you were born between 1990 and 1999.
Why did the teacher tell Jamie she was wearing too much makeup? Because she was wearing too much makeup.
Why can’t Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle?
Because he hasn't been trained as an artist.
An Irishman, a Chinaman and an American all walk into a bar. This is an excellent example of integrated community.
A guy walks into a bar.
Which is unfortunate because he has a drinking problem.
What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
What’s the one thing in life you can always count on? A calculator.
Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? That's because there are more geese in that line.
How do you light a swimming pool on fire?
You don't.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Guess what I saw today. Everything I looked at.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s dead.
What did the homeless man get for christmas?
Nothing.
Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it. Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good.
Yo mama's so old, she’s probably going to die soon.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”
Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
He gets treated with great respect, since he’s such a talented actor.
What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
Every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
What does anti-humour have in common with a half empty bottle of ketchup?
Nothing.
How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What did one ant say to the other ant? Nothing, ants communicate by pheromones, not speech.
Why couldn't the dragon be a fireman?
Because dragons aren't real.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
What’s black and white and red all over?
Red white black through tissue samples textiles for making clothes
What did the doctor say to the other doctor? We’re both doctors!
What do you call someone who kills a black person?
Murderer.
What do you call a French guy flying a plane? A pilot.
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