Funny Good Morning Quotes

Start your day with a smile with these humorous quotes!

Funny Good Morning Quotes

"I hate mornings, they start so early."
— Janet Evanovich
“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
— Jim Davis
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.”
— Marlo Thomas
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
– Unknown
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”
– Unknown
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
"Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well."
– Unknown
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
— Terry Pratchett
"I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day."
– Unknown
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
"Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read."
– Raymond Carver
"It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning."
— H.G. Wells
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
— E. B. White
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.”
– Mickey Nice
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler
"People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it."
– Unknown
"Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing."
– Unknown
"When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
— Crystal Woods
“Luckily, today has been canceled. Go back to bed.”
– Unknown
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
– Steven Wright
“When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
– Unknown
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
"Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness."
— Nanea Hoffman