"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe
All gardeners know better than other gardeners.”
— Chinese Proverb
“I’m not aging, I just need repotting.”
— Anonymous
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."
- Richard Diran
Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
"What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it."
- Charles Dudley Warner
"Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one."
- Dave Barry
"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Dorothy Parker
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“I have a green thumb. Got it when I dumped out my kale smoothie.”
— John Wagner Maxine
A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.”
— Sara Stein
“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
— Anonymous
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
"Gardening requires lots of water - most of it in the form of perspiration."
- Lou Erickson
"What did the carrot say to the wheat?
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."
- Shel Silverstein
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
"Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons."
- Dave Barry
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
“If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.”
— J.C. Raulston
