Growth takes time. Be patient. And while you’re waiting, pull a weed.
— Emilie Barnes
"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."
- Doug Larson
“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
— Anonymous
"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
"Even if the farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start."
- E.W. Howe
“Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy plants, and that’s the same thing.”
— Anonymous
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
- Rita Rudner
"When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?"
- Lucy Parker
Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.”
— Anonymous
“Gardeners know the best dirt.”
— Anonymous
“Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.”
— Anonymous
"When I asked you to water the plants,
I did not expect you'd unzip your pants."
- Mike Garofalo
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
“Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough”
— Anonymous
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
“Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.”
— Anne Raver
“Weeds are nature’s graffiti.”
— Janice Maeditere
"There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's."
- Clyde Moore
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
– Mitch Hedburg