“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
"I'd like to connect with nature but there's no USB port" - Dan Masso
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
"Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose."
- John Lyon
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.”
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
“I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.”
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright
---
“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
“Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?”
“When life gives you mountains, put those boots and start hiking.”
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally sh** myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
“You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.”
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
"I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz
