The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?
By shaving with them.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
Chuck Norris' email address:
Gmail@chucknorris.com
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.