How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
Why did the man keep going in circles? He didn't get the point.
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning.
No, I say. I just bring him some coffee.
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
What’s the best way to find a truly committed man?
Visit the closest mental hospital.
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
What do you call a married man vacuuming? Doing what he's told...
Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
Why shouldn’t you let a man’s mind wander?
Because it’s way too little to be out all alone.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
How do you stop a man from raping you? Throw him the remote control.