Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.
Why don't women blink during se*? There isn't enough time.
Why do women take baths to relax?
Because it's too hard to drink wine in the shower.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Him: Awww, of course!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What do you give a man with everything? Penicillin.
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man?
A knife has a point.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
Why shouldn’t you let a man’s mind wander?
Because it’s way too little to be out all alone.
What is the difference between a man and a tree? One is illegal to hit with an ax.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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