What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce...
How does the man help clean the house? Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I don't know, it's never happened.
Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence.
Older women to her friend about remarrying, “When I pass away I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.”
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask for directions
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
How is a man like a gun?
Keep one around long enough, and you’ll definitely want to shoot him.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!