It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
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