It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
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