It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
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