It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
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