It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
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