It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
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