It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
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