It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.