It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
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